So Real... I Didn't Know I Was Dreaming... :P

I'll be back to "work" tomorrow. It's been a long break. Met lots of strange people, have a guy lined up for a meeting in a few weeks time who want something from the legendary kingdom of Mu... a contemporary of Atlantis. Luckily for me, there's people I know out there who are able to get said item. Whether its from Mu or not, I don't know... just as long as it fits the description.

Was feeling pretty exhausted today... so woke up pretty late and slept again... and didn't get my preparations for tomorrow done. :P

I had some pretty... realistic dreams... It was so real in fact that I was unable to tell if I was in a dream or actually living out the life.

In the dream, I was back some 6 to 7 years ago where I worked in a corporate office in the publishing field. I was a journalist of sorts then. The office was lighted in a rather cold flourescent hue, with grey-blue cubicles. My terminal was a little away from the other cubicles. It was like it was back when I was in charge of my own editorial team ... Somewhere at the back of my mind, there were one or two writers / helpers / assistants I was supposed to coordinate something with.

My mind was in a muddle. Somewhere deep down inside I knew I was living this life that I am living now... and then... there was this OTHER life... a life I would probably be living if nothing changed, if the last 6 to 7 years did not ever take place. The office was pretty familiar because I have dreamt about it a year or so back. I think it was supposed to be one of the field offices for one of the big press companies, either AP or Reuters... and I think I got a scolding that last time from a "supervisor" for not showing up for work when they expected me. THAT was also another very realistic dream that left me pretty confused.

Despite the familiarity of the office, the truth is that I have never seen it before in my life. I mean, I have been to the offices of some of the major publishing companies and IT firms here in Singapore, and I have never seen anything with similar decor.

Much later, I found myself attending a PR event hosted by Microsoft... yeah... that is pretty weird. It was at this hotel that resembled strongly something That I may have seen when I was in Europe. The lobby seemed like something from an "old boys' club" with butler service and everything. The oddest thing was the appearance of my sister in my dream, and in this instance, she was working at Microsoft!

My sister is currently NOT in any IT or IT related field. :P I was in the lobby fumbling around for my namecards wondering where my colleagues were. It was a familiar feeling... the PR event was apparently a movie screening some movie starring "The Punisher" but the movie was screened on a pull-down screen as reminded me a little of something I would see coming from an old projector.

The technology movie was also a little dated, in terms of the clarity and quality. No HD anything here... it was like I was watching a movie from the 70s that was in colour but cleaned up and of nice quality. And because I was pretty exhausted as well in this scenerio, I fell asleep... in my dream! Somewhere at the back of my mind, I had a vague notion of my current life, but it seemed as if my current life was a dream and whatever I was dreaming about was the real thing.

In the middle of my "dream-snooze" The Shark called me on my mobile about a play he was writing. I went out into the antique hotel lobby to talk to him, but was interrupted by two marketing ladies from Microsoft...

It was just around that time that I finally realised I was dreaming and got up. I guess I should have realised it sooner because at certain points in my dream, I did go to the office in my robes. :P

That dream was much too strange. It was like when I was dreaming about myself in the medieval era as a priest but so much more real.

I don't like the feeling but I don't know what its about. If anyone else has experienced this, do post a comment or try emailing me.

Vampires vs "Literary Merit"

"The Shark" is a moniker for a friend who first introduced me to the world of metaphysics, by showing me that human talent and ability extends far into the realm of metaphysics and the paranormal. Of course, he doesn't know that we sometimes call him that. He really is a decent and intelligent human being, but we can't shake that "sharky" - "have I got a deal for you" feeling that he seems to exude. Also, it is a moniker that I give him so that his identity is hidden at least from people who are reading this blog who don't know him.

Today I had a chance to meet him again. He had apparently written a play called "Vampire Monologues" ... I think as part of a workshop-competition where new playwrights get to showcase their short works. There was an event today where his work was read-acted out by members of a local theatre company. It was sort of a double bill event because one of the other competitors' works was also performed and the audience was given a chance to vote which play would end up in the finals, performed at the Esplanade.

"Vampire Monolgues" is a very funny, laugh-a-minute spoof about vampires and contains loads of risqué humour. It's nicely written and is rather entertaining. However, theatre-goers looking for depth or some really poignant literary undertone should leave their expectations at the door. Although The Shark commented that his inspiration for the play sprung from his "70 odd multi-personalities"... I think perhaps some of the inspiration for it came from his experience playing "Vampire The Masquerade: Live Action Theatre" with some local gamers who formed a registered association for this game in Singapore.

Watching it reminded me of a spoof movie about the porno industry that The Shark loaned me some years ago... The name of that movie is "Orgasmo" < IMDB Link > Watching it, you would get a pretty good idea of the tone the play took. Not surprisingly, "Vampire Monologues" was a crowd favourite and won over the other play that was also showcased at the event.

Now, there's a lot that can be said about "Vampire", and certainly, I think it can really be improved. But at one point my attention was drawn to a comment made by a lady who voted for the other play. She remarked that although she found that "Vampire" captured her attention more and that in short, she was more entertained by it. She voted for the other play because of its "literary merit" despite its length... (it was so long, and ended up going around in circles at one point, that I had started to shake my leg and look at my watch in the middle of the other play... not a good sign ) ALSO, she admitted that she didn't manage to grasp some of the Greek mythological and operatic references that the play often alluded to... at first, but sort of .... "got it" at the end.

Now, I have nothing against the other play, because I think it does have potential and for the sake of its writer, I will not mention its name in this blog entry. In fact, I would go so far to say that if not for the fact that the other play was WAY TOO LONG and lost my interest at the end, I would have voted for it over "Vampire". The audience obviously felt the same way, because "Vampire" is going on into the finals and will be performed at the Esplanade. :D

What really grates me is the fact that some would only approve of a play because of its "literary merit"???? I mean, what the HECK does that mean anyway? Is it really a merit for a play to make many many references to legends and obscure works (obscure at least for most people today) that do not have any relevance to audiences today? Does that make it a better play? Or does it make those who go to view it FEEL smarter?

Now, I am going to say rather pompously that I did not have a problem identifying the vague literary references to Greek legends and operas 'cos I do listen to opera, and thanks to my interest in metaphysics and history, I also happen to know the legends and the classics. However, I did not vote for the other play.

I suppose after years of disillusionment and pragmatism, I am of the opinion that an important criteria of any successful play, should be that people would WANT to put down their hard earned money to see it. That's right, think about it, if people didn't want to put down money to hear the plays of Shakespeare, it probably would not survive in popular consciousness today. I do not know if Shakespeare himself thought deeply about the multiple layers of meaning that literary critics, academics and students attribute to his works today. Sometimes, I think that the meaning we draw from a play, depends on the audience and that same meaning may not have originally been intended by the writer.

Okay, I might be a shallow person when it comes to entertainment... (At this point, I also remember that I once told a Straits Times journalist that probably the biggest function of news reporting was to provide "entertainment"... he was of course VERY offended... I was very cynical at that time dwelling on the whole notion of "bread and circuses" and analysing all those tabloids which sell so much better than the usual broadsheet news... hey, don't kid yourself, The New Paper is more widely viewed than the usual Straits Times and has a far greater reach into the minds of the Singaporean public, and the editors know it. ) ...However, I do know what catches the minds and hearts of people in these parts. And in these worrying times, I think people need laughter more than anything... And if some "shallow" play that lacks "literary merit" is able to provide an hour or so of laughter and thrills so that people are able to forget their worries for those short, golden moments then in my book at least... its A GOOD PLAY.

Recollections Of Past Acquaintances

Good Friday is traditionally a day where history and the past are brought to my attention. I suppose it has something to do with the significance of the day itself. No I don’t actually celebrate Ostara a la Wiccan/neo-pagan style, however, I do attend the occasional Good Friday service… often at the urging of Christian acquaintances who have no idea what it is I do half the time when I’m not pursing cash returns from honest labour. Prudently, to prevent unnecessary debate, I have omitted mentioning what it is I actually believe.

This day sort of brings to mind a conversation I had recently with a young person who is interested in metaphysics. In recounting some of my own experiences, I have come to understand incidences that have occurred in my life some 4 years ago.

Some 3 to 4 years back, I was surrounded by people and incidents that seem to have stepped out of some kind of bad movie about the paranormal. The thing is, I have always had a circle of friends who are either psychically gifted in some manner or who are engaged in occult practices. The thing is that until about 4 years ago, they haven’t really bothered to mention what it is that they do… when I’m not around. I think they were pretty comfortable in their own circles, doing what they were doing, until I arrived. At least that is my perception of how it all unfolded.

Skipping a lot of what happened in between, I knew a lot of people back then who became highly unbalanced when they stepped into my circle of friends. They were pretty normal before they got to know us, sure they had their problems, but the problems at least did not have a supernatural dimension. Or, even if the problems had a supernatural or spiritual dimension, it didn’t become as nasty as it did when I found out about my friends’ metaphysical pastimes.

Now, I am not too sure WHY the situation became as bad as all that, part of the reason is likely because when I started my own journey into the metaphysical some 4 to 5 years ago … I did so not by reading from self-help books or the internet and then experimenting on my own (something a lot of my friends did I think…) I went out and sought teachers, practitioners, members of the New Age and metaphysical community for advice and instruction. In the process, I got to know a lot of people in this field, which, I now feel, might not have been the best thing for my circle of friends.

On hindsight, meeting these people triggered a whole stew of reactions from my friends. Some of the practitioners they liked and are still keeping in touch with today, but on the whole, seeing some of these people in the New Age community triggered and avalanche of emotions and desires from the people I knew.

Some of the people I knew and some others I got to know all had the same kind of problem … ALL wanted to be something other than who they are. There was this one guy who really really wanted to gain power through metaphysics, but who had absolutely no talent at all in this area… in fact, as friends pointed out, he could easily gain power and control in his life by sitting his folks down and letting them know about his needs and problems… and also by visiting the gym frequently so he would feel fitter and have a better self image…

To date, he has done neither and is still delving into metaphysics… pretty unsuccessfully… I might add… as an avenue of power.

The other more extreme case was that of this gal who desperately wanted/needed attention and had a strong desire to be special. My sis commented to me before that if she cleaned up and shampooed her hair more often, (my sis thought her hair was way too greasy) she would look rather attractive… and be special by being herself. I guess, being herself was not enough for her so she went through this spell led by The Shark which was supposed to turn her into a lizard… energetically and soul-wise. (If it doesn’t sound like it makes sense.. well, it really doesn’t to me.)

The Shark did it hoping that it would give her some confidence…. And create something she could feel special about. He saw it more as a placebo. However, looking on hindsight, I guess if you have a dying need to be special and not want to be yourself… then well, it doesn’t matter what you do because it will never be enough.

Now I hear she wants to be a man… and is contemplating sex change… Which…. In part was sparked off by some dream she had where she was some male alchemist… presumably in some medieval past life…:P

Then there was this lady who claimed she was the “daughter of god”… I hope we were the only people she said this to because I don’t think anyone else would be quite as understanding.

I guess back then, I should have questioned why it was that I was meeting all these people. If I had taken my lessons more seriously, I would have seen that everyone I met was a mirror of myself.

I guess back then I…. did not want to be who I am. I remember in the years that passed, I was struggling with trying to get a “respectable” job… living a “respectable” life… in a sense… as F repeatedly tells me… I’m not really doing what I really wanted to deep down inside… or what I should be doing.

You know, its pretty funny now to think about it, I had the same problem as the people I met… just on opposite ends of the scale. I suppose if any of them were to read my blog now, they would think I’m stewing in hubris… However, I don’t think they would like being in a life where just about every job that they apply for turns out to be some giant dud where the company goes bankrupt and the boss runs away without paying… And ironically the only job that they can hold onto is the one that well… allows them enough time to fulfill their spiritual/metaphysical duties.

I used to joke that I know a lot of con men and law breakers…. Well, that unfortunately is very true… I have gone to the government and police for help… there was even one who is very likely engaged in some big time money laundering. Well, they haven’t been able to put those… criminals… behind bars. However, I’m glad I’m not the only one with this problem… one of the practitioners I spoke with recently had a similar story to tell…

“Do you think I WANT to be in this line?” she remarked…. Yeah I know where she’s coming from. We both want the cushy corporate job and big bucks…:( The sad thing is we both spent quite a lot of years trying to pursue the cushy job and big bucks…. Haiz.

I guess I might have said this before in one way or another in my other blog entries. However, it had never occurred to me before why it was I met all those people who really weren’t satisfied with who they were and were desperately trying to be someone else. I always thought that they were … annoyances. Well, now I see… it really is true… everyone you meet IS a mirror for you to learn your lessons.

Funny Freaky Incident Happened Today...

Sometime around 4ish going to 5 this afternoon, something pretty strange happened at home. Someone apparently rang our doorbell. Because he was standing near the door my father opened it two seconds after we heard the ringing. However, strangely enough, he found no one standing outside. Now, I reckon that even if a person was ringing our doorbell as a prank, he would need some time to duck out of sight. Well, my father saw no one outside and we all thought it was pretty freaky.

Well, since there was no one outside, he just let the autospring on the door swing it close. However, when he let go of the door to sit down, we all heard something pull at the door pretty hard and the door snapped shut with a bang... my dad made some joke about a ghost and so did we all, after all, when something like this happens, it is best not to run around panicking.

I must say that the number of unexplained incidents I've witnessed have increased. Only that, this is the first time other people were part of it as well. I'm jotting this down as a record in case have to refer to it later in the future.

Another strange incident happened in March as I was on my way back from work. I was on this rather empty bus going past Clementi road to Upper Bukit Timah. Somewhere in front of a bunch of condos on a hill with a winding road that leads to the Hillview area, a woman in dark jeans, with a tight top and long, black hair got up and sat beside me. I got the impression that she was either Filipino or Indonesian. This is not uncommon in that area, as there are a lot of families with maids from those countries.

Now, I only got an impression of the woman from the side of my eye because I was pretty tired and I had put my backpack down on the seat beside me in the bus, since it was pretty empty. I was a little annoyed that she had completely ignored my bag and sat down on it. I was thinking... "like why can't she sit somewhere else..." its not like the bus had no seats.

Now, I closed my eyes for like a few seconds and the bus travelled 2 stops down past Railway Mall and stopped in front of a bus stop that was in front of this bank branch at the junction of Hillview. I was sure the woman was still sitting beside me because I kinda felt her body heat. Opening my eyes, I turned to my side to look at her when, guess what, she was GONE!

I was so shocked I turned all the way around and semi-stood up, looking at the entire bus. She wasn't there! Because I was a little shaken, I asked the Chinese gal who sat on the seat behind me. Since she was staring straight forward, there was no way she could have missed that woman, right?

Well, the gal said she got up at SIM (that means, she definitely had a chance to see the woman) however, she ALSO claimed that she was too preoccupied with her sms and therefore did not know if anyone was sitting beside me, even though she was barely 1 foot away from the person. I suppose if you wanna look at it from a paranormal point of view, she likely saw no one and probably thought I was insane. Well, I felt tempted to ask the fat guy sitting right at the back of the bus, probably he had a good view of everything... but I decided not to because it was starting to look too weird.

I mean, I have run this incident over and over again in my mind. Who on earth vanishes from the bus in between stops? And who on earth takes a bus only 1 stop! The bus stops here are very close to each other and hardly anyone just takes a bus for a single stop.

Friends who have heard this tale have mentioned that I encountered this near the Old Ford Factory... an allegedly very haunted place in my country.

Well, I dunno what this is.... coincidence or something more? What do you think?

4 Times No Mongoose! What The Heck!

Only for the guys who know of my stupid vice.....:P Yeah yeah, I know, I could be spending more time in meditation :P

I musta smacked Moroes like 4 times in a single night with the same group of raiders and he did not drop a single mongoose :(

I am kinda contemplating doing some magical thingamagig to improve my lousy luck... yeah yeah I know I know... its so shallow and stupid.

Trip To The Twilight Zone

Had another strange dream yesterday. It was sometime between 12 and 3 in the early morning. This one was like some bad episode of the Twilight Zone.

I don't really remember the starting part because it was a blur of images, the only part that I do remember was near the end where I was either on or watching some cross-country bus going from Singapore to Malaysia. It seemed like one of the chartered tour buses that leave Singapore everyday for KL or Genting. However, the bus was dark and a little shabby; with lots of school students going on some school field trip.

I got the feeling that the bus was either going to Penang or KL, but the place where we did stop at eventually looked like a small disused carpark ... the kind you might find at Kent Ridge or one of the overgrown, disused parks or nature reserves on this island. Anyways, I had the feeling that me and some of my friends came here to retrieve a missing friend or associate. The problem with this dream was that, all my "friends" were people I have never seen before in my life. They were all guys, but they don't look like anyone I know at all.

We hopped off the bus... I don't know how... halfway between Singapore and Penang/KL or wherever it was this stupid bus was supposed to go and there was this small road ahead of us veering off the main highway. It cut into some small town or estate and there were some old semi-detached houses or single storey bungalows lining the road, something like what you might see in '60s Singapore or some really rural place in Pongol.

I knew that the person we were looking for was in danger of being hunted by some supernatural dog. I am not sure what kind of creature it was, except that it was very very fierce. We went in shaking rattles and banging pots to attract the attention of the dog so that our friend could escape. Sure enough, the dog spotted us and started chasing after the group. However, at this time, our trapped friend had used the opportunity to escape and we ran to the highway.

At this point in time, the bus that ferried passengers along this Singapore Penang/KL highway was travelling along, and it was only by hopping on this bus… again I did not know HOW we did that, were we able to escape from the dog… which vanished as soon as it realized it was not able to catch up to us.

Since the bus was travelling to that disused carpark destination, we decided to ride it out and just take the return bus to Singapore. But when we got there, I noticed that some transportation or freighting company had set up shop at that place. The owner asked me to look into a problem he had. The problem was that he had big container trucks going to some place along the coastal area, but none of the people he had sent long with the trucks had returned.

Usually only the driver and perhaps one other person rides on these trucks, but strangely enough, it seemed a whole ship’s crew was ferried on this truck. In fact, the guy who managed to make it back to say that all the men had mysteriously disappeared was this old English-looking ship captain with a blue uniform, a hat, white beard and pipe!

Strangely enough, I didn’t even question the captain or the manager of the freight company and decided to ride along with a bunch of men on this container truck going to the sea. The truck had to take a route that deviated from the main highway we were travelling on and used a very very long tunnel to reach the coastal area. I noticed that lots of traffic was rushing in from the tunnel towards the highway, but I never saw any of the cars leave the tunnel because the highway I was on was deserted.

On our side, we were the only ones on a container truck going towards the sea. Very oddly, we floated like a ghost ship on an invisible current just slightly above the rushing traffic and we didn’t exit from where the traffic originated, but drove out a side tunnel. I noticed that the driver didn’t seem to think there was anything strange about what he was doing.

We arrived at what I would term a confined isthmus of land, trapped by the tunnel on one side and by the sea on the other. I saw the coastline, but we could not get down onto the water because there was a sheer cliff which was fenced off by a wire fence. At this place, I saw a small pharmacy… the captain said this was where all his men had disappeared. I had inkling that it had something to do with the strange pharmacy. It was as if the person who ran the pharmacy dispensed some strange drug that made everyone change, on the inside, and they sort of vanished upwards into the cliffs beyond flanking the tunnel that brought us here.

The captain I think knew what I was thinking and asked for a small sample of panadol… but when he opened the packet, it contained a small, brown tablet that looked more like a rough herbal tablets they sell at some Chinese medical halls here instead of the usual white panadol tablets.

It was at this point, the dream ended. I think I might have had a similar dream before as this dream seems familiar, but I have no idea what it means. I’m just putting this down so that if I should ever dream of anything or see anything similar, I will be able to refer to this post.

I have in fact seen stuff I have dreamed about long ago. I would dream of a place a few years ago and then, suddenly one day, while on some trip out of this island, I would end up in said place. I wonder what this all means.

Funny Egyptian Dream... I Wish I Could Remember What It Was About.

Was resting because of this cough I got that doesn't seem to want to go away. I really didn't intend to fall asleep because I got this big project hanging over my head and I really have to get stuff done. However, I am feeling rather distracted so I haven't been concentrating on getting it completed.

Anyway, the problem is that I cannot remember what the majority of this particular dream is about except that it was very colourful and I was rushing around. I do however remember the last part. In this last part, I am on a long dusty road that leads over rather brown landscape into a valley-like place. While on the road, it seems as if some of my power suddenly leaves me and flies down the road to this temple-like complex and enters via the main door.

I recognise this complex because it really looks like Hatshepsut's mortuary temple complex at Deir el-Bahri. However, in my dream there seemed to be more statues standing on top of the different platforms of the temple... not like what it looks like now.

In the dream, I am shocked this has happened and yet I know it was inevitable. Normally I would be panicking, but I feel a sense of annoyance and perhaps tiredness that this has happened and I am dragging my feet to the temple as I make my way there to retrieve it back. I think in the earlier part of the dream, I saw some of the insides of this temple, but the memory is vague and I don't quite grasp the details of what I saw.

I've no idea what this dream is all about, if anyone out there reading has some kind of interpretation, I'd like to find out what it is.

What On Earth Do You Mean When You Say... "Hermetic"?

When I started exploring alternative spirituality, I did not do it with the intent to practice magic. In fact, my own background is that of a skeptic. I was brought up with a strong sense of what logical thinking means and the need to provide proof for claims made. I think one of my clearest childhood memories was of my father talking about the concept of Logic to my much older cousins.

I'm a little surprised that few people have actually asked me what I mean when I say I am a "hermetic" magician. They mostly just nod and say "oh". I figure some people just assume what that means is some variety of Wiccan belief... or associate it with something they probably saw in "Charmed". It's only recently that I have had people who have asked me what that meant. I guess its about time now that I make some attempt to define what it is that I do... I mean after all the bellyaching that I do on this blog about magic.

When I started along this path, I did not really assign a terminology to what I did. I was drawn to the Western esoteric tradition and to ceremonial magick in terms of the circles, seals and other symbols that were used. However, at that time, I felt I did not know enough to really say that I am a practitioner of ceremonial magick. So like all people who are trying to find out about stuff, I did my reading and research to try to understand the traditions I felt drawn to.

At the core of all of this searching... I realised eventually that I wasn't truly drawn to the iconography of the Western esoteric tradition per se... I was drawn to the person of Hermes Trismegistus (in actuality the Egyptian Thoth) and what he represented.

I found out through my own meditative exploration... (and this is my own personal belief)... that Hermes / Thoth isn't a god, and not even an ascended master (as so many people claim he is today)... but a man. A man who is likely a scholar and a magician, but who like all of us has reincarnated and continues to reincarnate in the world today. I felt alone in my beliefs until I met the only reader that ever convinced me she had real psychic abilities. Strangely enough, this reader held the same belief. She also claimed she knew the truth about Hermes because she was once his disciple...

Now I don't know about her other claims, but when I heard her say, "I know he didn't ascend... he is still reincarnating today..." I felt a great sense of affirmation and I actually hugged her.

Till today, I have not heard a single reader or channeller say the same thing to me. In fact, I have met and talked to channellers of the ascended master "Lord Hermes"... now, I have to admit, there is a side to me that is just a bit naughty... when I do meet someone who claims to channel Hermes, I'll ask the channeller a question that is related to something esoteric or about magic... presumably...IF the being really IS Hermes, he would have no problem answering the question, since... allegedly... the Western esoteric tradition is based on learning that originated from ancient Egypt and Thoth/Hermes is a god of magic.

To date, I have not met anyone who has convinced me that they are channelling the real deal, in fact in one colourful moment, one of the beings (the channeller here was speaking on the being's behalf) that was channelled asked me what my opinion was on a particular magical question which I posed to it as a test... :P I mean, can you imagine Hermes asking an apprentice what his view is about some topic in magic? I suppose the real deal would only do that if he were trying to see if I knew my stuff... but being a mighty ascended being, wouldn't he already know what I was thinking? I honestly expected either a tongue lashing for my audacity at daring to question the being's authority.

I guess the channeller knew I was testing... yes, I was THAT obvious. Instead of an admonishment... (no they would rather not admonish you publically because they are all supposedly filled with "love and light")... I was given a rather general answer that wasn't really explained well. :(

I suppose some channellers overseas are more widely read than the channellers in this country... Because just through pure observation alone, I do NOT think that the channellers here are well read in the subject that they are supposedly experts in... :P Of course, the claim is that the knowledge channelled is from some higher being... but I beg to defer since most of the beings channelled seem to only have the same level of knowledge as the channeller... and surely... as multi-millennial entities, SOME ought to AT LEAST have a standard of verbal expression that surpasses the normal Singaporean... :P

Okay... yes... I am being horribly nasty :P And in part, that stems from the fact that I'm at times, terribly arrogant... and in part from my frustration that the name of a person I honour and respect is being brandied about just like... that. I think what galls me is the fact that some of these people are entirely genuine in their belief... so the better part of me can't bring myself to shatter their cherished notions... haiz.

Anyways... back to the topic... over time I decided to call myself a "hermetic magician / wizard" in part, so as to differentiate myself from the Wiccans.

So what do I mean by the terminology I use then?

Well, when I realised that I was drawn to the person of Hermes, I decided to read up as much as I could about him and if possible, find stuff that he wrote ... if any ... or taught. Naturally, like a lot of new age people, I stumbled upon works like "The Emerald Tablets of Thoth the Atlantean" (some people believe Thoth was the last priest/magician of Atlantis)... however, I also tried to find out WHERE the work came from... my own research into the matter led me to a rather shady figure called Dr Doreal... who allegedly was the one who compiled the work from "ancient sources"... but likely (and again, this is my belief, based on my own research and observation)... WROTE the dang thing.

Being unable to find any credible works attributed to Hermes Trismegistus among the more common new age publications, I turned to stuff written by the founding members of modern ceremonial magick... (ie. Golden Dawn... etc) At first, what they wrote sounded impressive... however... when I did my reading into how the ideas evolved, I was highly disappointed to find out that the source of their ideas weren't quite as ancient as they claimed, and in fact, some of these turn of the century practitioners went so far as to forge documentation to substantiate their beliefs... or claim that they were in contact with some otherworldly entities... (some modern occult writers have expressed doubt as to the authenticity of these supernatural contacts)

So there, my search for Hermes again runs up dry...

I'm now at the stage where I am looking at some old hermetic texts... and to be honest... what I am turning up isn't promising either. In the latest book I read about hermeticism, it turns out that a lot of ancient texts were likely written by other ancient authors ... not Hermes... but often attributed to an important historical or divine personage (like Hermes or Thoth) so as to er... give the book a sense of authority... or in some other cases dedicate the writing of the book to a certain patron or god.

I'm not quite done in that area, so who knows I might find something interesting...

I used to call myself a "ceremonial magician" when I was trying to figure out stuff from the early twentieth century mystics... but it really doesn't feel right since I think that most of the "magick" written in those texts are really just attempts by some writers to complicate ideas... make them SOUND impressive. I mean, I have asked myself this... just because I accidentally leave out a symbol or two when drawing out an uber-complicated summoning circle .. will that cause my magic to fail? And how do we know that such and such a symbol is necessary anyway? Is it because somebody from the impressive sounding hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn says it is necessary?

This reminds me of an incident where some young people who were practicing magic commented to me that the Enochian language was "powerful" stuff because it can be used to call upon and talk to angels... I said, "What... you think archangel Michael cannot understand English?"

Well, I think I'll stop calling myself a "ceremonial magician" since i don't really subscribe to the teachings of the mystics who came up with modern "magick". By the way, I am still a little bit fascinated by different practices of the magical orders... 'cos some of their rituals are cool-looking examples of a kind of modern mystery play and really great theatre. :)

So why... why "hermetic"...you might ask, since I do not subscribe to the teachings of any of the "hermetic" magical orders?

Well, there are some beliefs which I hold to that are a part of hermetic tradition... such as the use of the 4 elements of earth, water, air and fire, the concept of "as above so below" and the idea of reincarnation... and the belief in a supreme being that made all.

Link: What is Hermeticism?

However, I don't really subscribe to ALL of the typical hermetic or gnostic beliefs... in part because I'm still reading and evaluating them... and because here too some of the ideas that are embraced as part of modern hermeticism (and therefore attributed directly or indirectly to Hermes) sound as if the originators of the ideas are trying to make simple concepts sound grand and impressive...:P

At the end of the day, I find that my best source of information about Hermes / Thoth and what the ancients believed about him and practiced is from historical or archeological sources. I feel that it is my search for the real Hermes, my belief in him and his knowledge that puts the "hermetic" in my definition of what I am doing.

By the way, you likely won't get the same views from someone else if you googled "hermetic magician"... in fact most of my similarly-termed contemporaries might either think I am insane, misguided or a total fraud.