The thing about a having a father that reads a lot about his area of interest is that well, he found out long ago that decorating Christmas trees probably had its roots in ancient druidic practices... (I've wanted a tree since I was a kid but thanks to my father, they are out because he felt it was a heathen practice... ) Also, he felt that Christmas was a christianised version of the traditional pagan holiday of Yule and other similar year-end winter holidays celebrated by ancient non-Christian Europeans, so we have no celebrations at home except for a big dinner IF he and my mother feel like it... In fact, I remember working on Christmas day when I was a teenager trying to scrape together enough cash for stuff in the new year... because there was nothing else to do on that day...
Being a "by the book" kind of believer, my father felt that the only festival worth remembering on the Christian calender was Easter... It commemorating the death and resurrection of his Lord... since, as he said... it was the only thing that was commanded for believers to remember... and he does have a ton of theological knowledge to back his view.
You know, we don't ever have easter eggs or chocolates or bunnies at our house either... :P I wonder why since my father never made the whole Easter - Ostara connection.
I guess its because my folks aren't too much into having "fun". Or maybe its just too much effort to get stuff ready..... I dunno.... I see some gift chocolates on the table now, but I think its just in anticipation of returning someone's gift since it is likely someone will give my folks something on Christmas day when they go for service... :P And believe me, my folks don't like making social boo-boos.
Anyways... so what does this season mean to me now? Actually its still one of the busiest times of the year for me 'cos for some weird karmic reason, the universe or Source makes it such that I see a huge parade of all the people I've either had issues with or who have issues with me...
In the past week, I met a person from my past I really didn't like.... and fell really really sick afterwards... yeah , I've got the stupid f****** FLU again with the slimy green phelgm. Some people are just "toxic"... as echoed by a friend who works at Da Bear's... I heartily agree.. I think next time if that m***** f****** b**** is gonna turn up at a meeting of old friends, I'll just be very rude and say "I don't want to make it".
Honestly, I have never been insulted in the face as many times as on that Thursday night... by that B****. But in an effort to save the rest of the innocent bystanders and pretty decent folk...from discomfort over me flipping the dinner table and walking out, I had to ignore all of that... I have no idea why that b**** seems out to get me this year since I don't think I ever did anything nasty to her.... :P
F says I am slipping in my meditations and spiritual practice and that's why I met those people... don't say I disagree with her... its been a very very hectic end of the year.... no time to consider stuff which I should be thinking about... I've still got a painting dateline and that sure isn't helping 'cos all I wanna do is sleep :(
But despite all that I'm feeling now about these very short and not very fun holidays, I did learn quite a lot about myself and managed to overcome a longstanding fear. I used to be afraid of meeting or confronting that nasty b**** .. and I really don't know why, since she isn't really anyone powerful or important... unlike some of my other old school acquaintances in the government... but now, seeing her after so long, I find myself laughing at my own silliness... why should a very very bloated, spiteful, lonely person cause me so much consternation?
Perhaps, as F would say, "it is something energetic she is putting out..."... maybe she is right since none of the other normal people seated at the table said anything in retort when she started throwing her arrogance around... I mean, I used to think I was arrogant and self-absorbed, but now I think I'm pretty normal by comparison.
In fact, I think that in comparison to all the people from my past that I have met these past few weeks... most of my friends now are "normal" by comparison....
Anyways, I anticipate that this Christmas I'll be meeting more people from my past that I do not want to meet. I hope I don't end up punching someone.... cos I really don't have any more patience for people who for some stupid karmic reason, have some kind of issue with me.
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